I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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