have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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