i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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