Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
