fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
