So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
