I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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