you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize