69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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