tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
