smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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