it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
