So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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