I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize