She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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