Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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