You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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