Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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