no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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