I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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