you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
