you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
