Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
