porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
