You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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