just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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