btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
