There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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