We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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