I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
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Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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