wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i drank out of a bidet.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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