I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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