I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
two words...techno handjob
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
