Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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