did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
