So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
