yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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