Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We don't watch enough power rangers
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
