Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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