I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize