Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
