So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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