4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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