I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
