wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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