"it" just moved
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
