She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
