Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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