Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
