I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
