You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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