i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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