I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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