I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
