Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
