I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
