Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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