Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
