Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
