I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
