The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
