Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
