Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
